When I was in high school, I used to sit in history class in the back row next to a friend who was a boy. I was afraid to speak up for fear of being wrong, so when the teacher asked a question, I would whisper the answer to him. He would raise his hand and speak my words. It turned out I was nearly always right, but only he knew that.

People who know me now will be surprised by this admission. I’ve spoken in front of groups. I’ve volunteered to go first, announced guests at conferences, started conversations with strangers, and advocated for myself and my family. I’ve asked to be promoted, run complex projects, reached out to superiors and authorities. Now with my memoir and blogs, I’ve written personal truths about myself that I’ve long kept secret and exposed my inner feelings to the public.

Some see me as brave. Perhaps they also see me as foolish, but I ignore that. Inside, I still need to summon up courage every time I put myself out there. It’s always an effort. I feel that anxiety I had raising my hand in high school with warning signs flashing in my mind: What if I’m wrong? What if I get hurt? What if I hurt someone else?

A thousand fears conspire to keep me silent.

I don’t think this is just me. I believe most of us cower at the thought of exposing our vulnerabilities.

This hit home for me in a big way last week when reading about the testimonies of women against Harvey Weinstein. Imagine the bravery needed to face him and the press in court, to raise their hands and be called upon to speak about graphic personal details they have likely worked hard to forget. How much courage did it take each of them to face the criticisms, denials, insinuations and public scrutiny that they knew they would confront? Their strength is inspiring.

Most of us won’t be faced with something so extreme. But even smaller challenges can feel huge when we lack the confidence to power through them.

That’s why we need to remember that we are always in the process of learning. We may have become experts in one area, but we’ll be complete novices in another. Don’t let that dissuade you from moving forward in your life in new ways. No matter your age or background, the world around you is always morphing into something else, so we are in a constant state of discovery. Why not use that understanding to allow yourself to make mistakes, to try again, to grow?

Seek out those who support your efforts and will lift you up—the ones who will catch you if you fall. And most importantly, make sure you lift up others along with you, using an open mind and an open heart. That fear you’ve felt exists in all of us, and may be even greater in those who have struggled against barriers beyond our personal understanding.

This is how we build our base of courage: by creating a web of strength we share with each other, a resilient space to hold us up despite our fear of speaking our truth. Then when we raise our hands, our voices will be loud and we will make sure everyone knows who spoke.