When I was sixteen, I ran away from home. Not completely however. My twenty-one year old sister went with me. You might think it was the other way around, that she left and I went with her. I don’t think she would have gone however, if I hadn’t talked her into it. I was always the trouble maker. Or the “idea person,” depending on how you look at it. My life as a runaway was certainly easier because of her. She had money saved, so we had an apartment, food to eat, locked doors. We also had each other for companionship, support, and love. Mostly she took care of me, more than I realized at the time. I just took it for granted that she would. Even when I ventured off on my own, she eventually followed at first and even saved my life on at least one occasion, although she never knew it at the time. That was in 1971. Forty-seven years later, our lives are quite different. Several weeks ago, her long time companion and true love of thirty-five years passed away from cancer, following a long illness during which she cared for him until the end. Now I am doing the best I can to take care of her. I don’t know if it’s enough. I have been fortunate because I have not yet had to live through the intense grief of losing a spouse. I have seen others go through it, but like sex or childbirth, I believe it is one of those things that can’t be understood by hearing about it. My sister is a strong woman, yet fragile. We text throughout the day and talk, and have established a new ritual of going out on little trips once a week. In addition to grief, she suffers from health issues that make her winded easily and fearful to push herself too much. She may never be free of the burden of her own body and the restrictions it places on her, yet I keep imaging if only she could make a bit more effort each time, she would surely become healthier and robust. I have no way of knowing if this is true. Is grief holding her back? Does it help her or hurt her if I try to coax her to come along with me? Forty-seven years ago we changed each other’s lives forever. She once picked me up from the abyss and dragged me back into the world. I hope I can do the same for her.